HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ANGRY AT GOD?

Have you ever been angry at God?

I have. 

In fact, I remember my angriest day with Him. 

December 14th, 2012. 

Know what happened?

The Sandy Hook Elementary School Massacre.

With a heavy heart, I could barely focus that day.

Just 20, I was no stranger to pain.

The tragedy made me think about what I witnessed at the children’s hospital during my spinal surgeries. I once saw a child so impossibly green I thought I was dreaming. At night, I awoke to a child wailing with such distress I begged God to give me her pain.

Tears burned my eyes as I thought about the unfairness of it all. 

Barely grappling with my own hardships life hurled at me, I struggled to process how there could be both a loving God and yet immense suffering and EVIL in the world.

When it came to my own struggles, people at church told me two things: 

One, that I had a loving Heavenly Father. 

And, two, that when my titanium screws cracked in half inside my spine it was God’s doing. To teach me a lesson.   

At first I was hurt. (This “loving Heavenly Father” seemed abusive.) Later confused. Next came anger.

And let me tell you on December 14th I was LIVID with God.  

“HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?” I cried.

Ever shouted those words?

I get it. 

There is such thing as a righteous anger. (Ecclesiastes 3:8)

It’s the type of anger that points something out, a nudge in our spirits, telling us: It’s not supposed to be this way.

Thankfully, I have a different relationship with God. Now, I know I am to partner with Him against the evil of the world. To be a light to those around me, using my talents for good.

But, honestly, it took some wrestling to get there and years of reading the scriptures for myself to see what the Bible actually says about Jesus rather than relying on what others have told me about Him. 

If you are angry.

I see you.

Your anger and brokenness is welcome here.

Take Care,
Amanda