WHY I WANTED THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE PHOTOGRAPHED

This was me 9 years ago on the absolute WORST day of my life.

Earlier in the week, surgeons cut open both sides of my torso, repairing my wonky spine. 

On this day, my temperature shot through the roof. IV complications left my arms badly bruised and the medicine made me so constipated I felt like a bag of bricks. I couldn’t stop vomiting and my teeth chattered violently from the shock of it all.

Stunned, my dad hesitated to capture this moment when I asked him. 

But I knew I needed to remember this day.

The day I endured more pain than ever I thought humanly possible.

As shocking as it may seem, I’m grateful for this day.

This day taught me that I could survive moments of discomfort. This day gave me grit. Showed me I was resilient.

This day taught me breathe through the agony and to rejoice in the little things in life.

This day allowed me to experience pain so terrible that it gave me a heightened sense to the suffering of those around me.

This day lit a fire beneath my belly to live a life with passion. To not live life passively, but to take chances and love whole-heartedly. 

This day taught me that I had a choice not to be a victim of my external circumstances, that I could either grow or regress.

Hardships suck, but I refuse to let them turn me into a bitter person. 

I like to view my trials and tribulations like bread dough. 

(Work with me here.)

In order for it to become delicious edible bread, it first needs to be kneaded and set by the fire to bake before it can feed others.

While I don’t like the idea of being kneaded and set by a blazing flame, I do like the idea of blessing people. 

And so that’s what I’ll do with my pain. I’ll endure it, learn from it, and serve others. I’ll turn it into something good, something nourishing for the soul.

And for that I’m grateful. 

Take Care, 

Amanda